When the Fog Lifts

The other day, I was on my daily commute to the hospital for one of my clinical rotations. The train chug chugged along and as it neared one of two bridges, I turned my head expectantly to view the expansive water and distant hills. But on this particular day, the view which I have come to treasure, was blanketed by an unrelenting fog. I could see absolutely nothing outside of the window. It was a disconcerting feeling. What was happening behind the fog? When would the fog lift? As the train made it to the other side of the bridge, the water and hills left behind, the fog gradually lifted, trees and buildings slowly appeared and my view of the outside world became crystal clear once again.

This two minute experience got me thinking about how similar life can be to this event. There are times in our lives when our path forward is clear. We can feel confident enough to proceed on our journey. There are other moments, when things become less clear, our confidence may become shrouded in uncertainty and we wonder where has the path disappeared to? One thing I do know. The fog eventually lifts, and we will see clearly again. It just requires patience, determination and the will to never give up.

I recently completed my second Psychiatry rotation and have just completed my first 2 weeks of Internal Medicine. Both have been great learning experiences with amazing staff physicians and residents. On some days though, I feel truly tired. I wonder if I have the strength and ability to become a good doctor. Or I struggle to balance medicine with family life. Doubts try to creep in. But I also feel so grateful to be in a position to help people so directly in their moments of crisis, illness or fear. It truly is a humbling and privileged position to be in! And even on those cloudy, unclear days…the fog eventually lifts!

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View from the train in winter-time

Featured image: View from the train in summer time, late evening (potentialdoctor.com)

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Clerkship Update: In-Patient Psychiatry

Happy 2019 dear readers! I hope you had a fantastic December holiday!

Clerkship Updates! I have just completed a month in In-Patient Psychiatry and I have to say that it was an extremely humbling and eye-opening experience! My rotation consisted of following patients in the psychiatric unit, doing consults and reassessments in the ER, reassessing medical patients with psychiatric symptoms on a number of different wards, as well as interviewing and assessing families in Child Psychiatry.

What I learned from this rotation

I went into this rotation with trepidation because I felt I did not have much experience managing mental illness but I learned so much from my patients about their life-stories, hardship and resilience. I was humbled by what they have been through and how far they have come. I was surprised by how attached I got to some of my patients and how much emotion I felt towards them. These were people from all walks of life. It could be me, it could be you. A very humbling experience. I also feel that this rotation really helped me improve my interviewing skills which will be very applicable to my interests in Family Medicine.

What I enjoyed most

Seeing my patients get better and discharged from the hospital, particularly after a long admission! I also really enjoyed the human side of medicine on this rotation. Many of my patient interviews were simply about getting to know the person in great detail, which was really a wonderful and sometimes emotional experience. The teaching and support during this rotation was also excellent, with plenty of opportunities to share our reactions and feelings about the rotation.

What I struggled with the most

The greatest challenge for me on this rotation was wondering if I was really helping my patients significantly. But I was amazed how many patients appreciated simply being listened to during their moments of crisis and how the hospital was actually a refuge and place of stability for them.

My take home message

My In-patient psychiatry rotation was really great. I learned so much from the staff and patients. I am realizing now more than ever that it is really important to reflect on each day and process the feelings you have about what you see. It is human nature to feel the pain others have and so I feel it’s important to process these feelings in a way that works for you. Some suggestions include reflection, art, music, talking about it or writing about it.

Next rotation….Urban Family Medicine! Thoroughly excited! Stay tuned for more updates. Wishing you all the best for 2019!

Featured image courtesy of medium.com

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Christmas morning!
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Christmas morning!
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Birthday girl!
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Family time in the Laurentians!